I think we should buy ourselves flowers.
We should take the vacations we’ve always dreamed of.
We should visit that fancy new restaurant.
And we should tidy up the apartment, because someone special is coming by after work – ourselves!
But I didn’t always feel this way…
My Story… Maybe It’s Yours Too
In my twenties, my life revolved around dating and finding a partner. I had a budding professional career, a fun and wide circle of friends, I volunteered with meaningful organizations, and I was exploring and cultivating hobbies. But I was still spending hours agonizing over finding The One.
I religiously looked at personal ads in the newspaper – we have an amazing alternative newspaper where I live, and my best friend even found her future husband there! I also compulsively worked over my dating app profiles like they were the psychological + marketing puzzles they are. I made sure all my friends knew I was single and willing to be sent on blind dates. Heck, I even asked some of my friends out.
One September, though, I paused to think about how much time I spent online looking for “The One.” I winked and poked and DMed and e-mailed and texted countless near-strangers. I scrolled the profiles, hoping to find my mate within a reasonable geographic distance only to gradually expand my definition of a “reasonable geographic distance.” (Love knows no barriers, right?)
I developed a bevy of stories about one-date exes, an entirely new category I had to make up to accommodate the people coming in and out of my life. But as I became more conscious of how much time I was spending on finding a partner, it started getting depressing. I could have made a part-time job out of it.
I then realized I was spending all this time looking for The One, while spending very little time on myself. How ludicrous was I to be searching for the one I wanted to spend my life with, while I was chugging down 40+ oz. of soda a day, not eating well, not exercising, and not taking care of myself in a million other ways? It was obvious that I didn’t care about spending the rest of my life with me!
I decided to call a moratorium on my dating life.
Well, almost. I was going to date someone and that someone was going to be me. I said, “six months.” From October to April, I was going to date myself.
This blog is about the lessons I learned during those six months – and the relationship with myself that should never have an end date – as well as our ongoing efforts, especially as women, to treat ourselves well.
I hope you enjoy the blog!
M
PS: Do you have ways that you “date yourself?” Things you wish a significant other did for you, but that you’ve taken it into your own hands to do? Post a message below! I’ll share the credit (or keep you anonymous) and I’d love to share it with other readers!
PPS: Ready to learn about creating your own dating sabbatical?