Dating yourself isn’t as strange as it sounds. Well, maybe it is. But you might be at the point I was: ready to try anything. Dating yourself can be done on a dating sabbatical (taking time out from the dating scene) or while you’re still out mixing and mingling.
The overall concept is very similar to dating another person. Think about it, when you first start dating someone, it’s all wine and roses. You take each other out to nice places, cook each other delicious meals, bring each other thoughtful gifts, and spend lots of time getting to know each other. You probably dress up for each other too. You use your best manners, put your phone away at dinner, and try to remember to hold good posture.
Behind the scenes, there’s a lot going on too. You’ll spend time picking out clothes, you might clean the apartment and change the bedsheets after a few dates, and you might use your favorite perfume, which you save for special occasions.
Dating yourself is about doing a lot of this stuff, but for yourself. And without any qualifiers – not “until I find The One,” or “to help me find The One,” or “because I haven’t found The One” – this is about treating yourself as The One.
Dating yourself doesn’t have to be solitary or lonely either, and you have a lot of options about what this process will look like for you. I chose what I call a dating sabbatical, meaning I didn’t ask anyone out on a date or take anyone up on an offer for a date. I also tried not to look at the personals and I didn’t go to any speed dating or singles events. I chose a reasonable time frame for myself, which was six months. Interestingly, this left me with extra time and energy on my hands, which I started to fill up with family, friends, volunteer activities, and both new and old hobbies.
Taking a dating sabbatical is a commitment to yourself, so consider two things: what timeframe and what you want to do with that timeframe.
On the other hand, you could still date and mingle, but begin to shift your priorities to dating yourself first. Maybe there are ways in which you don’t always put yourself first. For example, have you gotten dressed up but your date ghosted? Grab a friend or even fly solo to the new bar in town. Or maybe you love cooking for others, but it’s hard to muster the energy for a one-person meal. By dating yourself you might choose to buy an amazing cookbook for small meals or start a supper club with friends.
So find the dating yourself process that’s right for you. Or, just enjoy the tips on this website for the occasional date with The One: you!