Dating Yourself

I think you should buy flowers for yourself.

You should take the vacation you’ve always dreamed of.

You should visit that fancy new restaurant.

You should tidy up the apartment, because someone special is coming by after work – you!

But I didn’t always feel this way…

My Story…Maybe It’s Yours Too

In my early and mid-twenties, it seemed like my life revolved around finding a partner. I had a budding professional career, a wide and fun circle of friends, volunteered with meaningful organizations, and cultivated hobbies, but I was still spending hours agonizing over finding The One.

I religiously looked at personal ads in the newspaper and cultivated my online personals profile like it were the autobiography that would go down in the history books about me.  I made sure all of my friends knew I was single and looking and willing to be sent on blind dates. Heck, I even asked some of my friends out.

One September, though, it gave me pause to think about how much time I spent online looking for The One.I winked and e-mailed and sent out my picture to countless near-strangers. I scrolled the lists of profiles, hoping to find my mate within a reasonable geographic distance only to gradually expand my definition of a “reasonable geographic distance.” (Love knows no barriers, right?)

I developed a bevy of stories about one-date exes, an entirely new category I had to make up to accommodate the people coming in and out of my life.  But as I became more conscious of how much time I spent on finding a partner, it really started getting depressing. I could have made a part-time job out of it.

I then realized I was spending all this time looking for The One, while spending very little time on myself. How ludicrous was I to be searching for the one I wanted to spend my life with, while I was chugging down 40+ oz. of soda a day, not eating well, not exercising, and not taking care of myself in a million other ways? It was obvious that I didn’t care about spending the rest of my life with me!

As evidence of my twisted sense of humor, I decided to call a moratorium on my dating life. Well, almost. I was going to date someone and that someone was going to be my life mate, The One and Only, the most important person in my life: Me. I said, “six months.” From October to April, I was going to date myself.

This blog is about the lessons I learned during those six months – and the relationship with myself that should never have an end date – and our ongoing efforts, especially as women, to treat ourselves well.

I hope you enjoy the blog!

M

PS: Do you have ways that you “date yourself?” Things you wish a significant other did for you, but that you’ve taken it into your own hands to do? Post a message below! I’ll share the credit and I’d love to share it with other readers!

PPS: Want to learn about creating your own dating sabbatical? Click here.