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Huge props to POPSUGAR for putting together this Single Lady Soundtrack.
Listen to the playlist on Spotify:
Is breakfast in bed one of the most difficult things to get the hang of as a single person? Maybe it’s just me, but it seems a lot easier when I can just stay under the covers and wake up to fresh coffee, french toast and bacon…delivered right to me!
But there are ways to swing breakfast in bed even as a single person. Here are some tips, tricks, shortcuts and suggestions:
- Buy a coffeemaker that automatically brews at a time you set. At least the coffee will be ready, although it still won’t bring itself into the bedroom.
- Ease the transition from bed to the kitchen: wear comfy slippers or wrap yourself in a luxurious robe. Some folks might enjoy playing soft music in the background.
- If you have an electric blanket, consider turning it on when you leave the bed (so it’s warm when you return).
- Have pre-made or heat-and-eat things ready to go the night before.
- If you’re cooking from scratch, consider getting all of the ingredients ready and nearly assembled before you go to bed.
- Consider a no-cook breakfast: fruits, yogurt, granola, berries, smoothies, etc.
- Find yourself a nice tray to arrange all of your morning goodies on. Use your good china or silverware. Grab a nice cloth napkin.
Once you have your breakfast all ready to go, make sure you head back to bed!
- Cozy up, enjoying the electric blanket, the robe, extra socks, etc.
- Fluff up your pillows and make yourself comfortable in bed.
- Enjoy the look of this breakfast in bed before diving in to eat. Celebrate how well you’re taking care of yourself!
- Eat slowly. Don’t let your smartphone tempt you. Reading can be enjoyable, but don’t let the day (of tasks, responsibilities, news, messages) encroach upon this time.
When you’re done, think about what you want to do next. I personally enjoy a nap after these breakfasts in bed. It stretches out the ease and comfort of the experience. Whatever you decide to do, do it mindfully.
And that, my friends, is how to treat yourself to breakfast in bed!
You know how we write love letters (or e-mails, texts, etc.) to new loves and tell them all the things we love about them? Everything from how generous their heart is down to how we love the bridge of their nose!
Well, what if we did that for ourselves?
What if you had a list of all the things you love about yourself?
So grab some paper, or open a document on your computer, and start a list of everything you like and love about yourself.
BONUS if you can find 100+ details you like or love about yourself.
Another BONUS: start the list and display it somewhere conspicuous, like a kitchen cupboard, bathroom mirror or coffee table. Notice the list every day and add to it!
In this TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, Tracy McMillan makes the case for the person you really need to marry: yourself!
I first saw McMillan on NBC’s reality show, Ready for Love. It was a cheesy, reality love show, with a twist: three relationship counselors coached the three bachelors and dozens of women on dating and relationship issues. I loved hearing their tips and advice, and McMillan, also the author of Why You’re Not Married…Yet, was one of my favorites.
Watch this video for a few reasons:
- McMillan’s history and relationship record is a bit rocky, so you can either identify with it, feel better about your own, or enjoy her humor and humility around it
- She committed to doing her own inner work
- She points out that this (“this” being your relationship with yourself) is going to be the “till death do we part” relationship of your life
- She deconstructs the vows of traditional marriage and translates them for a marriage to yourself
The whole 14 minutes is worth it, but if you want to get to the “DY” material, skip to 6:25.
Pinterest is a great resource for inspiration and ideas. So when the single life is getting you down – or other people are getting you down about being single – find inspiration on Pinterest.
Board ideas (to search, peruse or create):
- Bucket lists
- Inspiring quotes
- Brave women
- DIY ideas (for anything you’re interested in)
- Book recommendations
- Travel tips
To get started with a few inspiring quotes, check out my Great Quotes board on Pinterest:
Do you have some boards on Pinterest I should follow? Leave a link in the comments!
Here’s a kick I’m on right now:
A healthy diet will make you feel better, bring more zest and energy into your life, make you look better and give you the energy to live a more exuberant life – all things we would want to offer a partner and should work harder to offer ourselves.
Think of some games that might traditionally be done with a partner or even on a date. We’re talking:
- Wii games
- Board games
If any of these are your idea of fun, but you haven’t played them in awhile because you’re flying solo…well, you know the deal on Dating Yourself: play these games for your own enjoyment!
How, you ask?
Set up space for a puzzle and work on it over the course of a week or weekend.
Set up a chess or checker board and play both sides. Take your time, even consider making this a multi-day competition.
For the truly collaborative/competitive games, devise new rules to make them a solo game. Or invite your friends over for a game night!
Here’s a fun DY (Dating Yourself) idea:
Grab some friends and head to a sports bar. You know, the one you always pass and never think of as a viable bar option? That one!
Option 1: Grab friends who are into sports and actually know what will be happening. Root for their favorite team. Bonus points: get them to explain the game to you.
Option 2: Grab some friends who have absolutely no idea what will be happening, but who will get into the spirit of things nonetheless. Bonus points: choose opposing teams and make a small wager on the outcome.
Here’s a restaurant adventure idea for you:
Try a new restaurant and ask the waitstaff what they would recommend to eat or drink. Heck, even give this a try at a restaurant with which you’re familiar.
You might be surprised at what they think is good on the menu (or in season or fresh)!
Whether your Dating Sabbatical is one month or six, it should be treated as a unique period in your life. So, to get the most out of your Dating Sabbatical, consider planning some of these activities:
Treat your body well.
We primp and preen for dates, why not for ourselves? You could do the usual things, like working out and eating better, but take a deeper dive and see what your body wants. A Dating Sabbatical is a great time to do a cleanse or a fast, go to a retreat or create a home sanctuary.
Sometimes we travel with a new significant other, sometimes we stop traveling because we’re in a new relationship. So travel now. Go with friends or on your own. Book a tour, take a cruise or just set off on a road trip (with or without a map!).
Connect with friends
Your Dating Sabbatical is a time to nurture yourself and one of the best ways to do that is to restore connections with those who are meaningful to you. Set up some coffee dates, enroll in classes together, or just plan some nights at home with dinner and good conversation.
Declutter and refresh
A Dating Sabbatical is a great time to declutter, organize, minimize, simplify and refresh your spaces (home, work, car, etc.). Think of it as making new space for your new self.
You’ll likely find yourself with some time on your hands. Before I started my Dating Sabbatical, I felt like I was working a part-time job trying to find a partner! So take this time to enroll in a class, take a workshop, explore volunteer opportunities or take up a new, healthy habit.
Let go of expectations
During this time, you may meet prospective partners, especially if you’re trying new and fun things! But let go of the expectations of what those connections might be. Try friendship first. Your sabbatical has an end date, so consider this a gentle incubation period, for the new connection and your expectations.
For a lot of us, a Dating Sabbatical can be a wake-up call. You can realize how much (or how little) time you spend looking for a partner, how much energy and thought expended on the quest, and how our society is structured around couplehood. Make sure you have a place, whether that’s a journal, a friend or a therapist, to process your thoughts and feelings as you temporarily withdraw from the rat race.
Even if you don’t plan to do any of these activities, your sabbatical can be a wonderful breather from the dating scene. But if you plan one, some or all of these activities, you’ll likely get more out of your time on sabbatical and emerge rejuvenated, wiser and more worldly.
Have you taken a Dating Sabbatical?
What other essential activities would you add to the list?