Archives
now browsing by author
10 Signs You’re The One
MindBodyGreen.com has this great article called “10 Signs You’ve Found The One.” Here on Dating Yourself, I like to view the article through a different filter, the one that says YOU are the one you’ve been waiting for.
So let’s look at a few of the 10 Signs:
#1 “Your partner is your best friend. You’re 110% yourself, you feel free, and enjoy the little things in life together.”
How would you describe your ideal best friend. Are you being that for yourself? Describe the 110% authentic version of yourself? How are you supporting yourself in fully realizing that version of yourself? List the “little” things you’d like to share with a partner. Are you currently waiting to enjoy those things with another person or can you enjoy them now?
#10 “You know that no matter what, he or she will always stand by you and be on your side.”
We often look to partners to be our best friends, playmates, intellectual equals, spiritual rocks, defenders, protectors, entertainers, honest reflections and so much more. Pick one of these attributes – or another that’s important to you – and list the thoughts, actions, qualities, etc. that a partner could have or do to show you that s/he is by your side. Now ask yourself, am I those things to myself?
There are some Signs on the list that really imply a second person in the relationship. But let’s bend the image a little bit:
#8 “When something happens—terrible, exciting or completely insignificant—he or she is always the first person you want to tell.”
I’m not encouraging voices or multiple personalities, but do you seek your own counsel? Do you trust your own advice? Do you have methods for listening to yourself, such as journaling, meditation, solitude or a craft?
#5 “The two of you compromise with each other. You don’t always get your way.”
When I hear advice like this, I ask myself if I am truly capable of compromise. Do I know my own real needs and desires? Am I listening to the other? Am I acting from a place of generosity? Is compromise really my goal (or is my goal to win, silence, hurt or to be heard, seen, understood)? All of these questions are valid when dealing with the Self. Think, for example, when you have choices on how to spend money, which decision to make, how to treat your body…these are all compromises between the many aspects of your Self.
The whole list is worth a read, whether you’re in a relationship with another person or cultivating your relationship with your Self. Click on over to MindBodyGreen to read “10 Signs You’ve Found The One.”
Writing Longhand
Write to a friend, even if it’s a friend from just down the block. Letters don’t have to be long or laborious. Grab some colorful stationery and jot off a two-pager, a postcard, or a card with a funny picture on the front.
Art Hopping
Participate in “art hops,” if your city has them. Or plot three or four galleries and visit them all in one afternoon.
Dining Alone
Go out to dinner. Alone. Don’t worry about it.
It may seem rare, maybe even unthinkable to some, to suggest dining alone, but it can be an enjoyable experience.
Here’s how: take your time ordering; choose a meal you really want. People-watch or daydream while you’re waiting for your drink and food. Savor the flavor and eat slowly.
A number of acquaintances and co-workers have looked puzzled or even horrified when I’ve talked about going out to eat – and they discover I went out alone. These are often married women, although sometimes a single woman. I wonder, if you can’t go out to eat alone, how in the world do you try new restaurants if you’re single? Or what do you do when the hubby doesn’t want to go out?
Don’t limit yourself waiting for a dinner date!
If you need to ease into this DY tip, try these steps:
- Go out to coffee alone.
- At a cafe or restaurant, take a book or magazine with you.
- When meeting friends at a restaurant, arrive 15-20 minutes early (if the place isn’t busy) and see how those few minutes feel, knowing full-well that your friends will arrive soon.
- Try quicker restaurants before seated dining establishments.
- Work your way up to a very nice restaurant, and treat yourself.
Get off(line)!
Get offline! Although many folks have had success with online dating services, and lots enjoy networked gaming or chat rooms, and many of us connect through blogs, Facebook, and e-mail, there’s a whole big wide real world out there.
Go for a walk. Go to a bookstore. Go to a bar or restaurant. You don’t even have to meet people, but be open to the possibility!
Lunch Notes
Pack a lunch for yourself. Put a special note or card in there to uplift your spirits later in the day.
Clean Sheets
A friend of mine suggested this DY Friday:
Put clean sheets on the bed as often as you want!
She loves the feel of clean, crisp sheets. But, before we talked about dating yourself, she’d only change the sheets on a regular schedule and when company was over. So clean sheets were a treat, but it was a treat she’d turned into a routine or saved for company.
Don’t do that! Treat yourself well and treat yourself often!
What does it mean to be an adult?
What does it mean to be an adult? Here’s a DY take on the answers.
An adult…cherishes her life.
…is passionate.
…loves her body.
…enjoys sensuality.
…nourishes her health.
…maintains a peaceful, warm home.
…creates safe environments for herself.
…smiles – hope for laugh lines!
…gives herself the fuel that her mind, body and spirit really need.
…really, truly, slowly tastes food.
…embraces her Self.
…exercises her body for the sake of vigor and vitality (not for the sake of 5 lbs).
…cultivates rich relationships.
…lives Love.
…lives soulfully, deeply.
…is honest.
…is singular.
Dinner for One at Home
Cook an elaborate dinner. Light candles. Play music. Enjoy the romantic mood.
I know people who find eating alone to be scary or sad. If they don’t have company, they don’t prepare nice meals for themselves or even consider going out to a nice restaurant. I don’t know why you’d deprive yourself of a good meal in a nice setting!
Try this once. Try it a second time. And keep going until nearly every meal you cook for yourself is a comfortable, pleasant dinner date.
D5 Creation