In this TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, Tracy McMillan makes the case for the person you really need to marry: yourself!

I first saw McMillan on NBC’s reality show, Ready for Love. It was a cheesy, reality love show, with a twist: three relationship counselors coached the three bachelors and dozens of women on dating and relationship issues. I loved hearing their tips and advice, and McMillan, also the author of Why You’re Not Married…Yet, was one of my favorites.

Watch this video for a few reasons:

• McMillan’s history and relationship record is a bit rocky, so you can either identify with it, feel better about your own, or enjoy her humor and humility around it
• She committed to doing her own inner work
• She points out that this (“this” being your relationship with yourself) is going to be the “till death do we part” relationship of your life
• She deconstructs the vows of traditional marriage and translates them for a marriage to yourself

The whole 14 minutes is worth it, but if you want to get to the “DY” material, skip to 6:25.

Learn more about Tracy McMillan.